Smashing Pumpkins
by lady-warrioress
Summary: After a fight with Inuyasha Kagome runs into the Pumpkin Demon! Kagome bashing! IF YOU LIKE KAGOME DO NOT READ THIS JUST TO YELL AT ME!


**TO ANY KAGOME LOVERS OUT THERE. THIS FIC WILL PROBABLY OFFEND YOU. IF IT DOES DO _NOT _TELL ME BECAUSE I DON'T CARE. KEEP YOUR INSULTS TO YOURSELF. AND JUST SHUT UP ABOUT THEM BEING OUT OF CHARACTER! I KNOW ALREADY! DON'T POINT IT OUT TO ME AND I DON'T CARE IF YOU DON'T LIKE MY STORY! THIS IF CALLED A "FANFICTION" FOR A REASON! IT'S FICTION! IT NEVER REALLY HAPPENED JUST LIKE ALL YOUR FUCKED UP KIKYO BASHING STORIES! IF YOU CAN BASH KIKYO AND MESS UP HOW SHE ACTS I CAN DO THE SAME TO KAGOME SO JUST SHUT UP AND LEAVE ME ALONE AND I DO NOT PLAN ON DELETING IT SO STOP TELLING ME TO!  
**

Team Inuyasha walked through the pumpkin patch of some village that a demon had left in ruin. Why they were in the pumpkin patch no one will ever know. Anyway Kagome and Inuyasha were in a heated argument about something stupid and Miroku, Sango, and Shippo decided it would be wise to stay out of it.

"Look, Kagome, I love Kikyo and that is that," he told the school girl. "Why can't you get over it?"  
"Because I am so _much_ better than her," she shot at him. "Why can't you see that?"

"Right now you aren't acting better than her at all," he informed her. "In fact; you are acting like a real bitch!"

"SIT!"

_WUMP!_

Inuyasha was driven into the ground. But it didn't stop there. Kagome kept on doing it until she thought she had her point across. "I am not a bitch!" she shouted down at him. "You are!"

Inuyasha folded his arms and stared at her with lines for eyes. "Men cannot be bitches," he told her. "See, you don't know anything."

"SIT!"

Down he went again.

"I am not stupid!" she shouted. "I have a middle school education! You don't even know how to read!"

"I DO TOO!"

"DO NOT!"

"DO TOO!"

"SIT!"

And he went down a third time.

This time Kagome did not say anything more. This time she turned on her heel and ran off in a huff right into the woods.

"Umm, Inuyasha," Miroku said as the half demon got back up. "Shouldn't you go after her and say you're sorry?"

"Why should I?" he demanded. "She started it! She always starts it! I am not going to say I'm sorry until she says she's sorry first! Why do I have to be the bad guy when it's always her fault?"

"Hmm," Miroku said folding his arms and looking away. "I hope she'll be okay." he said staring into the woods.

"She'll be fine," Sango said petting Kirara. "Once she cools down she'll come back."

"Yeah," Miroku agreed relieved by that thought. "Of course she will."

* * *

Meanwhile Kagome was storming through the trees, her evil anger aura scaring all the little creatures into hiding places in trees and under ground.

"Why does Inuyasha always have to be such a jerk?" she asked herself angrily. "Why does he always have to think about Kikyo whenever we are starting to get along? It's like he doesn't care about my feelings!"

Kagome was so mad she felt like kicking something. Up ahead she saw some small baby creature all happy nibbling on some acorns. _Ah, _she thought smiling evilly. _The perfect kicking material! _she ran up to the animal and threw her foot forward. With a mighty kick she sent the baby animal flying into the underbrush.

"Squeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" It squealed as it went.

"Heh heh he!" Kagome laughed still feeling mean. "serves that stupid warthog right!"

Suddenly she heard a loud snorting noise coming from the bushes. Instantly she stopped laughing and stared at the brush. She too a step closer just as a huge brown head popped out of the brush. It was a HUGE mean looking warthog. It stared at her angrily, totally enraged at the human for beating up on it's child.

With as loud snort it came at her. "AAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!" she screamed, running through the woods.

She ran until she could run no more. As she slowed down the warthog saw it's chance and rammed its tusked snout into her rear. "WAHHH!" she wailed as it sent her flying.

When she finally hit the ground a huge cloud of dust rose up around her. As she was coughing, choking on the dust the warthog kicked mud into her face then ran away.

"Oh!" Kagome grumbled brushing herself off as she stood up. "What did I do to deserve this?"

A noise it the woods made her freeze. Kagome looked up, half expecting the huge pig to be coming back. Instead she saw something weird and glowing behind the trees. "Hello?" she called staring at the illusion. "Inuyasha?"

At that moment the thing came out from behind the trees. It came at her. Kagome stared at it for a moment. The thing looked like a ghost think in a flowing black robe. It's head was a large orange pumpkin with a laughing expression on it's face. Floating in front of it was a HUGE scythe.

"Well, my dear," it said in a shrill laughing voice.

Kagome backed away from the demon. "What are you?" she asked.

"I am the Will-O-the-Wisp," it replied. "I am a demon of all things negative."

"I don't care what you are!" she exclaimed pulling her bow off her back and aiming an arrow at it. "You stay away from me!"

The thing shook it's orange head. "You are a totally negative person," it said. "Negativity is a bad thing for any relationship."

"What do you mean?" she demanded, lowering her bow.

"I'll have to punish you," it said raising its scythe. "_NAGASHEEE!"_

Kagome screamed as the huge deadly weapon came down at her.

* * *

Inuyasha and the others by then had decided to spend the night in the field. They had lit a fire and were all sitting around it talking about stuff. "Kagome hasn't returned yet," Miroku said looking into the woods. "Maybe you should go find her, Inuyasha."

"HA!" Inuyasha scoffed. "I would rather fight Naraku with all my bones broken than look for her. We'll be better off without her. Maybe this will teach her a lesson and make her a better person."

"I have to agree with you on that," Sango said petting Kirara. "She is a bit of a brat sometimes. Why can't she ever help us when we are in trouble? Why does she just stand around screaming your name, Inuyasha?"

"It's easy," Inuyasha said. "She is selfish. She would rather see us get hurt than help us out and get her clothes dirty."

The others nodded in agreement.

Just then a voice shouted. "INUYASHA! SANGO! MIROKU! SHIPPO! I'm back!"

"Damn," Inuyasha muttered as he and the others got up.

"Don't let her hear you say that," Sango warned him.

When everyone turned toward Kagome they saw a strange sight. Something in a skimpy school uniform was running toward them. The body looked like Kagome's but the _head _didn't. The head looked _way_ too big and way too strange to be Kagome's.

"What the heck?" Inuyasha asked staring it it.

"Inuyasha," the thing with the weird head said. "Inuyasha?"

Suddenly Miroku burst out laughing. "WAAAAAAHAHAHHAAHAHAH! YOU LOOK LIKE YOU HAVE A JACK-O-LANTERN ON YOUR HEAD, KAGOME!" he guffawed, almost falling over in his laughter.

It was true. Kagome's head had been turned into a huge orange pumpkin. Where her eyes nose and mouth were located pieces of the pumpkin had been cut into a very mean looking face.

Everyone else stared at her head then started laughing as well. "BWAHAAHAHAH!" they all cracked up. "PUMPKIN HEAD!" even Shippo was laughing.

Kagome wasn't though. Instead of getting mad at them she did the second worst thing. She threw back her over-sized head and began to wail. "WAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHHH!" as huge gushy tears burst from her eyes and flooded the ground around her.

"By the way?" Sango giggled looking at her. "How did that happen?"

Kagome said through her tears. "I ran into a demon who said I must be punished and he turned my head into a pumpkin! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHHHH!"

"Punished?" Miroku asked sobering up. "Punished for what?"

"He said I was negative," she replied as the flood increased around her. "He said he needed to teach me a lesson."

"So you ran into a Will-O-The-Wisp," Sango said.  
"Will-O-the-Wisp?" Inuyasha asked looking at the demon slayer. "What's that?"

"A Will-O-the-Wisp it a demon of negative energy," she explained. "or should I say a punisher of negative energy. When they find someone who is full of negative energy they punish them by doing something to them. Most of the time they only hand out small punishments like taking the persons clothing or something." she glanced at Kagome. "They only do something like _that_ if the person has a _lot_ of negative energy."

"I knew that all along," Inuyasha said. "Kagome has a lot of negative energy."

"I DO NOT!" Pumpkin head Kagome bellowed. "SIT!"

_WUMP!_

Inuyasha was driven into the ground. "See?" he said making his point.

Kagome looked at Sango. "Is there any way to remove this?" she asked.

Sango shook her head. "Only one person knew how to remove that type of spell," Sango said. "She used to be a Priestess."

"Who was she?" Kagome asked.

"Kikyo."

"Kinky Hoe?"

"No not "Kinky Hoe"!" Sango corrected. "Kikyo! Get it right or don't say it at all!"

"So we have to find Kikyo to remove the spell?" Miroku asked.

"Yup."

"Okay then," Inuyasha said glad for an excuse to see Kikyo again. "Let's go find her."  
Kagome would have gotten mad at him again for talking about Kikyo but she was more concerned about getting her head back to normal so she said nothing.

* * *

"You want me to help you remove a spell?" Kikyo asked a few minutes later when the group found her in a nearby village "A spell from who?"

"Me," Kagome said walking forward.

Kikyo got one look at the pumpkin head and burst out laughing. "MWAHAHAHAHA!" she laughed hard and loud. "Finally something bad happened to _you!"_

"Stow it!" Kagome shouted. "Get me back to normal already, you clay pot!"

Kikyo glared at her. "I will do nothing of the sort if you think you can insult me," she shot back. "Now the only way to turn your head back to normal is to have your friends agree that they want this to happen. The 'Yeas" have to outdo the "nays'." She looked at them. "Do you really want to do this?" she asked them. "Think about it."

Everyone did. The thought about it long and hard. Their negative thoughts toward Kagome outweighed their good. When they were done thinking they looked at Kikyo and said "No."

"NO?" Kagome exclaimed in total surprise.

"No," they said glaring at her. "You deserve this. Finally something bad has happened to _you_."  
"Okay then," Kikyo said nodding. "I will not turn Kagome's head back to normal. The 'Nay's have it."

"NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!" Kagome wailed.

From then on Kagome was forced to live her life with a pumpkin head. Because of this nobody wanted to date her. Inuyasha and Kikyo got married soon after and Kagome was thrown back into her own time where little children tried to carve her head every Halloween from then on.

**THE END**

_A/N_

_I dunno. I just thought it would be funny. Let me just repeat what I said earlier. If you hate Kikyo and love Kagome shut up and don't tell me what a stupid person I am for writing this. Leave me alone and we can all be happy. I seriously don't think _any_ guy would fall in love with someone who bosses them around all the time. That just isn't how the world works. One more thing before you all correct me. I have no idea what a Will-O-The-Wisp actually does so I made this up. Please don't be mad. _


End file.
